Something Stupendous: Running With the Microphone

Today I was one of the girls running around handing microphones to everyone who wanted to ask questions in big conference rooms. It was stupendous. Certainly the event itself was great and the fact that people can pose questions is even better, but the ‘mic running’ is the thing that I deem stupendous today.

I’m sure we’ve all experienced that awkward silence, the moment when someone asks for questions and no-one wants to raise their hand. When mic running this feeling of awkwardness has vanished into the night sky, you’re posed to act, determined to never let a question go unheard. Your eyes are ever watching the crowd, trying to catch that hesitant hand in the air and hoping that you won’t miss it and leave someone hanging. A hand goes up and you scoot over, praying that you don’t trip, knowing that the entire room is waiting for you to hurry up and move. You get there, hand over the mic, hoping against hope that you remembered to flick the switch to ‘on’. You try to appear invisible as you stand nearby the questioner, take the mic back, remember to switch it off for fear of everyone hearing you breath.

You fade back into the background until the question is answered and the silence starts all over again.

The whole experience is stupendous. For starters it keeps you engaged in the conversation before you, it makes you feel important (I’ve got the mic, I control the questions) and best of all, there’s a weird feeling of both adrenaline and connection.

The five second rush to get the mic to the correct person is equivalent to a baton-pass sprint and the payoff feels just as good. People appreciate you getting them the microphone, they all quietly thank you, give you a smile. You’ve successfully enabled interaction between employees; you’re ensuring that the issues are heard. Just the fact that we can freely converse with/criticize our government is amazing; the fact that I could facilitate it is stupendous.

Yes, it’s a little thing, but the little things are the most stupendous.

Plus exercise and adrenaline = bonus

Something Stupendous: And Suddenly… Beavers

Me: *bursts through the door into the house* MOM!

Mom [in another room probably having a heart attack because I am not a ‘burst through the door and shout’ kind of person but rather a ‘slink in the door and quietly traverse the two feet into my bedroom’ kind of person]: Archie?

~ As you may have noticed my name is not actually Archie. My mother is just fond of nicknames. As in she really never uses my real name even when friends are over which just gets mortifyingly embarrassing when she absently calls you Lulabell McFerdinand or something~

Me: Guess what I discovered at work today?

Mom: Something technical that you had to make sound pretty?

Me: *shouting across the house* BEAVERS!

Mom: *pauses then appears* There were beavers at work?

Me: No, not at work, in work. There were beavers in my work. Unexpectedly stupendous beavers. I got paid to write about dam-building, tail smacking, big toothed beavers. Do you know how often that happens? Someone just hands you beavers in the middle of your more technical mumbo jumbo and farm assessments?

Mom: *starts to mirror my enthusiasm* NOT OFTEN.

Me: NOT OFTEN! I genuinely lol’d. Big ol’ snort in the cubicle. Then I had to explain to my cubicle-mates the whole beaver situation. I can’t tell if they were chuckling at the beavers or my beaver enthusiasm or my weird snort noises.

Mom: *looks like ? *

Me: Laughed out loud, come on Mom. You keep telling me you’re hip. Be hip. Get with the lingo.

Mom: *subtle conversation change* It is almost Canada Day.

Me: Right! It’s a sign from the universe.

Mom: What sign?

Me: I don’t know, but it’s some kind of sign. Maybe the beaver overlords are coming. Maybe Canada will finally raise its beaver army, join its moose brethren and instill a state of politeness and maple syrup over the whole world. Look at that idea – we could achieve world peace with beavers.

Mom: Sometimes I worry about you.

Me: I know. But really the beavers weren’t even the best part – have you heard of beaver deceivers? Because I hadn’t. But they are essentially things that deceiver beavers. It RHYMES. Not only did I get unexpected beavers in the middle of a workday but I got rhyming beavers.

beaver deciever

Beaver deceivers are deceptively unbeaveresque

Mom: What are beaver deceivers?

Me: No clue. Some kind of beaver trap for when they annoy farmers. Apparently Manitoba hasn’t caught onto the beavers = world peace thing yet.

Mom: Sometimes I wonder how you got that job.

Me: Because I believe in my stupendousness! Also because they knew that I was the kind of girl who could a) handle both the tedious technical reports and the excitement of unexpected beavers and b) because I’m the kind of girl who actually gets excited by a spontaneous beaver interruption. That kind of enthusiasm is an immediate moral lift.

Mom: Unexpected beavers are stupendous?

Me: YOU BET! *pause* When’s dinner?

Mom: Guess.

Me: When Hedgehog gets home.

My life in a nutshell… I’m only slightly paraphrasing.