Something Stupendous: It’s Raining Bits of Ceiling, Hallelujah!

Ceiling keeps raining on my head. Thankfully not big hunks of ceiling a la action movies, although I’m being cautiously optimistic that it’s not about to turn into full-blown tiles falling on my head. This is also more than your standard dust. This is the dust chunks that are being dislodged by the slightly grungy man playing with the pipes in the ceiling.

Guess who’s right under where he’s working. This kid.

I’m covered in a fine layer of dust and bits of that orange insulation stuff that my dad forbade me from ever touching as a child because he said it would be the itchiest thing ever even though it looked like cotton candy. I’m sorry dad. The sweaty man made them fall on me.

He just fixed a pipe using nothing but duct tape. I’m not sure how I feel about sitting under this.

Also my dust allergy is flaring up like I’m being viciously attached by the sandman.

Still, this is stupendous. Why? Well sneezing is always fun. I’m the kind who sneezes with the force of a mighty North Wind so it’s great for clearing the sinuses. Not to mention that I can trace little designs in the sea of dust particles that have coated my desk and can make pictures.

But most importantly. The ceiling dust is a sign of heat. Forthcoming, beautiful, blissful heat. Does the building have heat? Yupp. Does the office have heat? Yupp. Does my room have heat? Yupp. Does my particular corner of the room have heat?

HAHA NO.

The tiny portable heater and I have gotten well acquainted over the past few weeks. And I love it. We’re on good terms. But I too would like to bask in the glow of the giant central heating. And the ceiling bits landing on my head indicate that it is coming. Grunge man is fixing the problem.

Provided this duct tape thing really works.

So when it comes down it, I’m willing to dive into a non-lethal pool of ceiling bits if that’s what it takes to feel warm.

So ceiling bits, Keep falling. Just stay tiny. I can’t handle another concussion at work. I mean I work in an office. Once was embarrassing enough.

Stay stupendous.

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Bubble Wrap Just Got Better (I didn’t think it possible)

Bubble wrap is the pinnacle of all wrapping materials. This is not an opinion, it’s a fact. Let me remind you. So what happens when you combine envelopes and the epicness of mail  with bubble wrap? STUPENDOUSNESS! If you’re joining the blog for the first time I’m going to spoiler alert you, it’s pretty much always stupendous. Putting these three things together gives you the joy of the bubble envelope.

bubble wrapPerhaps you’re wondering what I even mean by ‘bubble envelope’; after all I don’t think that’s the technical term. Let’s find out. Whoosh over to the supply cupboard. Whoosh back to desk. Whoosh back to the cupboard because I forgot the name in the five second walk. Whoosh back. Type furiously.

Recycled Bubble Cushion Mailers. That name might be one of the most stupendous names I’ve ever seen given to an office supply. However in plain language we’re talking about the giant orange mail envelopes with padding on the inside to keep the contents pristine. But the key question remains, why are they stupendous?

The fast and furious answers: made of recycled material, keeps your valuable items from getting crushed, enables you to send mail, is fun to squish, comes with a  self-sealing sticker to avoid the tongue-on-gross-glue conundrum, comes in a shade of orange that you never see anywhere else.

I’m sorry did I mention the bubble wrap? BUBBLE WRAP. The delightfully air-filled popable stress reliever substance is stuffed inside of an envelope. That’s right; as if it wasn’t stupendous enough on its own they’ve decided to incorporate it into a mailing device.

The implications of that are enormous. When you receive mail in a Recycled Bubble Cushion Mailer you are first off receiving mail and the joy of whatever the mail contains, you are receiving an envelope that you can reuse and you are receiving bubble wrap. Sending someone bubble wrap is basically saying, “I care about you and your mental state, have a <b>great</b> day” but by sending it as part of an envelope you disguise it with practicality and professionalism.

But really you’re mailing someone bubble wrap.

They’re not envelopes they’re ‘Cushioned Mailers’ = bonus